7 Tips for The Trump Emergency Meeting Today

As Donald Trump’s campaign continues its freefall, his top strategists seek to halt its plummet into oblivion. Highlights from this satire by The Resurgent offers keen suggestions:

7 Tips For Trump

  1. Attack more dead soldiers’ parents
  1. Accuse more Americans of being co-founders of ISIS. 
  1. Put more states in play for Democrats. 
  1. Attack Ted Cruz more.
  1. Focus more white nationalism.
  1. Where is Hillary’s birth certificate
  1. Drop Mike Pence, add David Duke.
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